Idiots guide to being a good boyfriend
Rule number one is that the girl can't tell you what she wants. This is not because girls are sneaky and trying to play games, it is becuase she doesn't actually want the flowers (for example), what she wants is to know you're thinking about her. If she tells you what to do, you weren't thinking about her, you were following instructions. That defeats the whole point.
The goal here is to show her that she's always on your mind. That when you're not with her you miss her. There is no need for a special occasion. Any day is good!
How?
3 basic answers
Also- the more you pay attention to your girlfriend, when she talks, what she owns, or what she looks at when you're together, the better you will be at this. She's very glad your thinking of her but she might wonder why you associate her with the scary skull necklace when she always wears pink and flowers. Getting a gift that is actually מתים for her shows not only that she's always on your mind, but that you know her well, and want to make her happy.
Gifts don't always need to be presented upon arrival. If you are with her, and you pass a candy store, run in and get some chocolate. If shes been spending 15 min staring at one pair of 3 dollar earings, buy them for her. If you walk by a rose bush in full bloom, pull one off for her.
Plans. Same idea. You're thinking about what would make her happy. She loves hot chocolate cake. You hear that this place has great hot chocolate cakes. You take her there. She knows that you know her well and are always thinking of her. Same goes for the beach, a concert, a show. If you make the plans in advance instead of waiting till you're with her and saying "so, what do you want to do?" this shows that you spent time and mental effort on making her happy. That's never a bad thing. Again, this does not have to cost money. The beach, a tiyul, a free outdoor preformance in a park (in the summer!!!) all good ideas, but you have to know your specific girlfriend. Taking her to a heavy metal concert when she likes pop is not gonna send the right message.
This is usually better when done in advance, but if the occasion arrises where you happen to pass by a place you know she would love, pull her inside. This doesnt exactly count as full fledged plans, and don't count on this to happen, but knowing her tastes and paying attention will get you some points.
Messages. This one is really easy in this day and age of sms, facebook, email, etc... a random message in middle of the day that says "I love you", "I miss you" "Hey beautiful" etc.... means "I was thinking about you and just wanted to say hi". In fact, those very words could also be a sweet sms.
If you wanna do one better you can combine the gift idea with the message idea and if you find a cute comic or e-card or something that you know she'd love, send that. Again the point is "I was thinking about you, wanted to say hi, and knew you'd love this. "
If you use these 3 basic rules you should be good to go. But whatever you do, don't be cliched!!!! This tips the girl off that you aren't actually thinking about her, you are following a script. Roses might be romatic but if your girl loves birds of paradise you'd get a lot more credit going that road. Beware of being too creative though, then she might think you don't really know her. Just because it's original to get a girl a turtle instead of a kitten, unless you know she actually likes turtles, stick with the cute and cuddly.
One more warning. Don't overdo it. You do not need to sned her an sms every hour. One a day is more than enough. Plans can be once a week, or even less depending on how often you see her. (The more you see her, the more often you have to make plans. Once a week is if you see her 4 or more days a week.) Gifts, use your judgment. Don't buy random crap. You probably aren't going to find something that screams her name to you that often. Very cheap, (but not crappy!!!) small gifts can be given once a week(a small chocolate bar), mid range (both shape and price, ex. a flower, cheap but pretty earings), once or twice a month, and big stuff save for special occasions.
Stay tuned for chapters on "compliments" , "special occasions" , and "dates".
The goal here is to show her that she's always on your mind. That when you're not with her you miss her. There is no need for a special occasion. Any day is good!
How?
3 basic answers
- Gifts
- Plans
- Messages
Also- the more you pay attention to your girlfriend, when she talks, what she owns, or what she looks at when you're together, the better you will be at this. She's very glad your thinking of her but she might wonder why you associate her with the scary skull necklace when she always wears pink and flowers. Getting a gift that is actually מתים for her shows not only that she's always on your mind, but that you know her well, and want to make her happy.
Gifts don't always need to be presented upon arrival. If you are with her, and you pass a candy store, run in and get some chocolate. If shes been spending 15 min staring at one pair of 3 dollar earings, buy them for her. If you walk by a rose bush in full bloom, pull one off for her.
Plans. Same idea. You're thinking about what would make her happy. She loves hot chocolate cake. You hear that this place has great hot chocolate cakes. You take her there. She knows that you know her well and are always thinking of her. Same goes for the beach, a concert, a show. If you make the plans in advance instead of waiting till you're with her and saying "so, what do you want to do?" this shows that you spent time and mental effort on making her happy. That's never a bad thing. Again, this does not have to cost money. The beach, a tiyul, a free outdoor preformance in a park (in the summer!!!) all good ideas, but you have to know your specific girlfriend. Taking her to a heavy metal concert when she likes pop is not gonna send the right message.
This is usually better when done in advance, but if the occasion arrises where you happen to pass by a place you know she would love, pull her inside. This doesnt exactly count as full fledged plans, and don't count on this to happen, but knowing her tastes and paying attention will get you some points.
Messages. This one is really easy in this day and age of sms, facebook, email, etc... a random message in middle of the day that says "I love you", "I miss you" "Hey beautiful" etc.... means "I was thinking about you and just wanted to say hi". In fact, those very words could also be a sweet sms.
If you wanna do one better you can combine the gift idea with the message idea and if you find a cute comic or e-card or something that you know she'd love, send that. Again the point is "I was thinking about you, wanted to say hi, and knew you'd love this. "
If you use these 3 basic rules you should be good to go. But whatever you do, don't be cliched!!!! This tips the girl off that you aren't actually thinking about her, you are following a script. Roses might be romatic but if your girl loves birds of paradise you'd get a lot more credit going that road. Beware of being too creative though, then she might think you don't really know her. Just because it's original to get a girl a turtle instead of a kitten, unless you know she actually likes turtles, stick with the cute and cuddly.
One more warning. Don't overdo it. You do not need to sned her an sms every hour. One a day is more than enough. Plans can be once a week, or even less depending on how often you see her. (The more you see her, the more often you have to make plans. Once a week is if you see her 4 or more days a week.) Gifts, use your judgment. Don't buy random crap. You probably aren't going to find something that screams her name to you that often. Very cheap, (but not crappy!!!) small gifts can be given once a week(a small chocolate bar), mid range (both shape and price, ex. a flower, cheap but pretty earings), once or twice a month, and big stuff save for special occasions.
Stay tuned for chapters on "compliments" , "special occasions" , and "dates".
posted by Gila @ 11:13 PM
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